I have been watching Disney-movies my entire life. Whenever I want to watch a movie, but don’t really have any specific idea in regards to which, I more than often enough end up watching an old Disney-movie of some kind. The movies still make me laugh and cry – sometimes simultaneously – and the songs – my god, the songs – are catchy as fuck.
So the other day, I came over Ursula’s song from The Little Mermaid, called “Poor, Unfortunate Souls”, and some of the lyrics hit a nerve with me, just because of how fucking right they tend to be.
See for yourself:
I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty
They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch
I should find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light and made a switch
And I fortunately know a little magic
It’s a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don’t laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, lonely and depressed, pathetic
Poor, unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to get thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Poor, unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, “Spells, Ursula, please!”
And I help them!
Yes, I do.
Now, it’s happened once or twice
Someone couldn’t pay the price
And I’m afraid I had to rake ‘em ‘cross the coals
Yes, I’ve had the odd complaint
But on the whole, I’ve been a saint
To those poor, unfortunate souls
Have we got a deal?
Ariel: But if I become human, I’ll never be with my father or sisters again?
Ursula: But you’ll have your man (laughs). Life’s full of tough choices, innit? (laughs) Oh, and there is one more thing: We haven’t discussed the subject of payment.
Ariel: But I don’t have…
Ursula: I’m not asking much, just a token, really, a trifle. What I want is – your voice.
Ariel: But without my voice, how can I?
Ursula: You’ll have your looks! Your pretty face, and don’t underestimate the power of – body language! Hah!
The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yes, on land it’s much preferred
for ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on! They’re not all that impressed with conversation!
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
And a lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man
Come on, you poor, unfortunate souls
Make your choice!
I’m a very busy woman and I haven’t got all day
It won’t cost much
Just your voice!
You poor, unfortunate soul
It’s sad, but true
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
You’ve got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll!
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I’ve got her, boys
The boss is on a roll!
This poor, unfortunate soul!