You’re not a loser until you’re in denial about being one.

If there is one feeling I think we all fear in our lives at some point, it is the feeling of growing up. Not just the emotional aspect of it, but also about all the physical aspects: Paying your bills, finding a place to live, creating your own life, take full control of your own economy, apply for a loan, find an apartment, find a proper education, get a job, etc.


I can fairly say I have never been able to do any of those things. I haven’t paid any bills, I haven’t found myself a place to live for myself, I guess I have full control of my own economy, but my economy isn’t all that much to brag about, I haven’t applied for a loan, found an apartment, gotten a job or an education.


I have my high school diploma and this year I spend to find out what I want to do with my life, with school or work getting in the way as a distraction.


But I know that I will do at least one of those things as of next year. I know my own limits; I know that if I found myself a job right now, I would have settled for that job and not wanted to go back to school.


And getting stuck in your 50,000-populated small-town with a lame-ass job and nothing but a high school diploma – that’s not something I want for myself. I need an education; I need to do something of substance with my life.


We all have a total loser in our lives. One we absolutely don’t want to end up like.


No, I agree, we should not make assumptions. Just because you have a lame-ass job and low education in your hometown doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a total loser, but on a general basis I go by the judgment saying that you are not a loser until you are fully content with your loser-like situation.


If you haven’t graduated high school, and think that is perfectly fine, then there’s got to be something wrong.


I know I am living in a loser-like situation. I am not in denial about that. But I am not content with it. I am not going to live off my parents for the rest of my life.


I am just allowing myself a whole year in total freedom, where I try to figure out what I am going to do for the rest of my life.


No matter if I figure that out or not, I will go to college next year. No matter what. Even if I don’t know what I want to do.


That is how it goes. I will probably live with my parents for the next year as well, seeing as my economic situation is very limited.


I don’t even know what this was supposed to be… But it has been roaming my mind since I graduated, and I think I needed to words on that thought.


Peace out.




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